Interview a woman on her decision to have children or be “childless” . Summarize her response and your thoughts regarding your interviewee’s response.
My interview was with a 64 year young woman who is childless. She stated she knew at 18 years of age that she did not want to have children. A contributing factor in this choice may have been associated with her childhood as her father and mother split up when she was small. She stated she grew up in a loving home that her mother provided and she could not pinpoint any conscious thought that this situation was the reason. There was never a doubt or a moment she thought she might have children. She states there was never any pressures from her mother to have children. She mentioned her love of animals and that she feels she would have been a good mother, an nervous mother, but a good one. She has been married twice and her current marriage partner has two children and many grandchildren whom she is very fond. She is quite content with her life--no regrets.
Before this interview I was thinking I was interested to hear tones in the woman's voice that might reflect other emotions than what she was verbally stating. I was wrong as her words rang true. It appeared that it was not a topic she gave much thought to after her initial decision was made. It appears that she understands herself and her limitations which I feel puts a person in a good position to build on a honest life with less worries from taking a wrong direction. What do you think?
Amy Jo,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this interview. there are a million different opinions that can be expressed about having children. I am only 23 and although I anticipate the day I have kids. I can't honestly say if and when I will be 100% ready for them. I am at a point where I will admit, I am entirely too selfish for kids right now. So I can understand where individuals say they don't want the responsibilty of having children. It's nice to see different point of views on this topic. Thank you! :)
Whitney C.
Amy Jo,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed learning about this perspective on remaining childless. I try not to be judgmental on this topic because it is a very personal decision to make. I think that there are people who truly do not need to have children to fulfill themselves. The fact that women work and create a world for themselves creates new aspirations for women, and some truly know that they need nothing else. I can agree with these people. However, there are individuals who fear having children merely for the fear of commitment. I think these people should reconsider because they are missing out on life due to fear. I do not have children, but I have been pregnant and I can tell you that a mothers’ love is the best emotion a woman can feel.
Ana
Ana-
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your blog about a woman who decided, early in life, not to have children. Your report left me doubting the woman's motives, however. I think it is possible she either(1)repressed her memory of the reason for her choice, or(2)did not want to share the reason. But, I do think there was, most likly, a reason, originally. Never the less, I am happy to hear she has not regreted her choice to forego offspring.
I was happy to read you did, in fact, listen for non-verbal clues to her sencerity. That indicates to me that you too might have found her claims of "no regret" somewhat suspect.
Thank you for your post, Ana. I found it very interesting to hear from a woman who chose not to have children.
Ana,
ReplyDeleteThis was a great post. Its such a personal topic to talk to someone about. It's good that the woman had no regrets about her decision. I sometimes tell myself that I don't want kids at all, but then there are days where i feel that I would be okay with having a few. It's good that she was able to stick to what she wanted and not looked back thinking "what if".
Again, this was a really great post!
Hello Amy Jo:
ReplyDeleteMy good friend from high school told me in our senior year that she was getting married and moving to another state. She had always told me that she would never have children and that her future husband was okay with that decision. I knew that it was because her mother had become bedridden due to obesity and my friend strongly believed her weight problem began when she started having children. My friend was very afraid that would be her fate if she had children and as far as I know she has kept to that decision. However, I heard through the grapevine that although she never did have children, she had become obese anyway, albeit mildly. Perhaps my friend was right!
First of all, let me say, I liked the fact that you started out calling the person you interviewed a 64 year young woman. As I rapidly approach my sixties, I can't tell you how much I appreciate the fact that you are not judging her chronilogically.That shows that you are being totally objective in this interview and respectful. One of my very best friends from high school with whom I graduated who has been married a couple of times also never had any children of her own. Her new husband has children from a previous marriage and she loves them as her own. My friend came from a loving home with an older brother and sister and parents who are still married. All of my other friends from high school used to talk about getting married and having kids. She and I didn't want kids. It's just funny how you can come from similar backgrounds and have similar ideas and then end up living two totally different lives. That friend loves animals, especially dogs. Her facebook has only pics of her dogs, none of herself, whereas mine has pics of my grandchild. I think I knew from when we were in junior high that she would be the one who would be the career woman with no children. I just thought that that is what I wanted, too.
ReplyDeleteThe woman you interviewed stayed very true to herself. She knew who she was and knew what she wanted. She is a rare bird.